If you find yourself working under a boss who seems overly self-absorbed and difficult to handle, it's important to handle the situation carefully. First off, before you consider leaving, make sure you have a new job lined up. Now, let's explore how to manage the dynamics that come with a narcissistic boss.
Understanding the Dynamics: Working with a narcissistic boss often leads to increased stress for everyone involved. This is partly because of the connection between narcissism and aggressive behavior.
Identifying a Narcissistic Boss: Here are signs that your boss might be a narcissist:
• They disregard personal boundaries.
• They use a "divide and conquer" strategy.
• Their mood can be unpredictable.
• They talk big but don't follow through with actions.
• They take credit for others' work.
• They avoid taking responsibility for mistakes.
• They avoid discussing any negative aspects of the company or role.
• They dodge questions about their management approach.
• They seem distracted and disinterested during conversations.
• They make inappropriate comments about coworkers.
• You've heard negative feedback from others who worked with them.
• They make demeaning remarks about colleagues.
• They make unrealistic promises.
Impact on the Workplace: Narcissism in the workplace is a serious problem that can harm the entire organization. Narcissistic individuals tend to engage in counterproductive behavior, especially when their self-esteem is threatened. Studies have shown a link between narcissism and workplace bullying tactics, as well as sexual harassment.
Coping Strategies: If you're not ready to leave your job, here are some ways to cope with a narcissistic boss:
1. Value Yourself: Remember your skills and qualifications that got you the job in the first place.
2. Offer Compliments: Narcissists respond well to flattery, which can help maintain a better relationship.
3. Document Your Work: Keep a record of your accomplishments to protect your reputation.
4. Network Independently: Establish connections with other leaders in the company discreetly.
5. Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends or family to counter the negative influence.
6. Reflect: Don't internalize negative comments; reflect on your own perspective.
7. Remember Their Vulnerabilities: Understand that your boss may have deep insecurities.
8. Expand Your Experience: Work with other leaders to diversify your references and experiences.
9. Strategize: Position yourself as an ally when your boss seeks validation.
10. Seek Expert Advice: Consult an expert in labor law to understand your rights.
11. Understand the Source: Recognize the roots of your boss's behavior.
12. Respond, Don't React: Stay composed when faced with their behavior.
13. Set Boundaries: Clearly define what is acceptable behavior.
14. Stay Calm: Don't let their actions upset you.
15. Don't Engage: Avoid giving them attention for negative behavior.
16. Be Selective: Choose who deserves your attention and focus.
17. Fact Check: Verify information before reacting.
18. Avoid Arguments: Arguments rarely lead to positive outcomes.
19. Talk to HR: If necessary, involve Human Resources.
20. Understand Toxicity: Learn why some people are toxic or narcissistic.
In conclusion, dealing with a narcissistic boss can be challenging, but there are ways to manage the situation without immediately leaving your job. It's crucial to maintain your self-worth, set boundaries, and seek support from trusted individuals. Remember that your boss's behavior stems from their vulnerabilities, and understanding this can help you navigate the situation more effectively.
*I wrote this article on my Newsbreak Platform in September 2023*
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